When i was pregnant- I was terrified that Rosie wouldn’t like having a little brother or sister. As i have said in a previous blog (How to prepare for baby No.1 with having baby No.2.) i had to prepare for myself with steps. I included Rosie in lots of different tasks to do with Miyah and she used to talk to my belly. It was magical seeing the bond they had before was even born. We let her help us out the cot together, pick out clothes and Rosie was the first person to meet Miyah after the birth. She was so proud.
When i told Rosie i was pregnant, she didn’t quite understand. She kept asking me where the baby was and if we was going to keep her. It was actually very funny! Then she saw my stomach grow and it kind of clicked one day that the baby was in mummies tummy. She started to cuddle my belly and talk to my bump. We would sit for ages talking about how she would help me with the baby and how she loves ‘it’ already. When we had our 12 week scan i found out infact i was 13 weeks and Rosie was there with us. She saw the ultrasound and then she defiantly couldn’t stop talking about the baby. Telling everyone she could see “Mummy has a baby in her tummy”. She came to most of our midwife appointments and loved listening to the heart beat. Around this time it finally clocked that Rosie was really excited. I still couldn’t shake the fear that Rosie would be really jealous and basically reject the baby. I talked to Michael about it a lot and we made sure we spent as much time as we could with her. Days at the park, mummy and Rosie lunches; the works! We still made sure that every so often we would sit her down and explain that when the baby came home she would need a lot of attention. She always said she understood but hey! she was three!
I had my 20 week scan and we were told we were having a girl. Rosie was delighted to be having a baby sister and she kept telling us how she would be able to share her toys and they would wear pretty dresses together. Still so nervous i kept telling her- explaining to her that mummy wouldn’t be able to ‘cuddle’ all the time anymore and she would be tired. It didn’t phase her. She just kept telling me she would help me by changing babies nappies and cuddling her. Made my heart melt that she wanted to help so much! I would read advice online and hear other mums fears and stories too. I definitely over worried myself which i know is extremely bad. Rosie started helping us pick girly outfits out and started showing me all the toys that she would share with the baby. Some nights would crawl into bed with us and i would usually take her back to her own bed to stop ‘bad habits’ but sometimes i could help but just lay and cuddle her. I was so scared she would hate me and reject me more than anything because i was putting my attention on this new tiny little human that Rosie could have seen as ‘competition’. I just wanted my perfect little family.
As i was getting closer to my due date i got the expected judders about labor and the first weeks, and that fear was still in the back of my head. I had Miyah and i had to stay in hospital over night due to Miyah not being to hold her temperature. We decided not to tell Rosie straight away that I had Miyah and Michael went home. He came back the next morning telling her that we had a ‘surprise’ for her. She took one look at Miyah and she wanted a cuddle. She gave me the biggest cuddle i ever had and she kissed Miyahs head. She sat down nicely allowing us to set up some pillows to be cautious and she had a cuddle. When Miyah needed feeding we had to take her away and Rosie got upset. We set up the laptop for her to watch some telly while we waited for my discharge notes and she showed Miyah off to Michael’s parents and My dad and step-mum when they came to visit. She was the proudest sister i had ever seen. It make me so happy that i completely forgot about the fears and stress i had. My little family was growing and the love in that room was incredible. To be honest i felt silly for even thinking about the worries.
Since Miyah has been born we have only had ONE case of jealousy where Rosie and I had been playing on snapchat taking silly pictures and i needed to feed Miyah. Rosie has a strop and cried. I felt awful and all the worried flooded back and i was so scared that Rosie would then turn and be angry at me. I had finished feeding Miyah and called her over to me. I gave Miyah to Michael and told Rosie we could cuddle again and play on snapchat. She climbed on me (after giving Miyah a kiss) and we carried on. I explained that i still loved her all the same and i still loved our cuddles and play time but miyah doesn’t have bottles and she has to have mummies ‘Boobie Juice’ as its called in our house. Rosie told em that she wanted to help give miyah milk next time and i agree’d that she could ‘help’. Rosie has her 5 minutes and then we went back to normal. Next time Miyah needed feeding Rosie grabbed her muslin and sat and stroked her head while she fed. I was so relaxed.
For the next 9 weeks Rosie has hardly left her side. Whenever Miyah cries Rosie is there in a flash to give her, her dummy or to coo her while i come. If she doesn’t take the dummy or doesn’t calm before i get there Rosie shouts that she needs booby. If miyah is asleep she holds her hand and when she is awake (Which is hardly every during the day haha!) Rosie talks to her and now at 9 weeks Miyah is smiling and Rosie gets so excited when she does; she comes running to me to tell me. I am so glad my girls have the bond they do. It makes me feel so good and exciting for when they can start playing together.
I know that sometimes the case can be that babies can feel extremely jealous of their siblings and i am no way trying to offend or ‘boast’ about this. I know how hard the fears and sleepless nights can be because of it. It was one of the worst things i struggled with.
Thank you so much for reading!